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The Hirsute of Happiness…

Well, as we all know, the entire Conservative Party seems to be OBSESSED with Justin Trudeau’s hair. It seems to be the central theme of their attack ads, and let’s face it, it points to an undeniable envy on the part of Steve and his team.

The Conservatives seem to feel that somehow, Steve’s own hair is … ‘inadequate’… even though it must be conceded that it has long been a phenomenon in its own right – an appropriately Conservative entity of shock and awe, and as Margaret Atwood correctly points out, one that has its own keeper (and one which has had others wondering if it could be weaponized).

But for whatever reason, Justin’s hair appears to be the only area where the Conservatives think the Liberals have an advantage – but fear not Blue Team, wheels are in motion to take away that advantage and place it squarely on the sultan’s scalp.

Whispered rumours abound on the campaign trail that operatives have been trailing the Liberal Leader – bribing hotel maids for comb samples, dredging shower drains, dumpster diving behind Trudeau’s barber’s shop. All in an attempt to gather enough raw material for the creation of the Conservative’s secret weapon, so that this…

Stephen Harper by Remy Steinegger

Stephen Harper by Remy Steinegger

can become … THIS!!

stephen harper hair

And then the people will say of Stephen Harper…

He turned 9 consecutive Liberal Budget surpluses into debt – inheriting a $13.8 billion surplus and turning it into a $5.8 billion deficit within two years, starting a run of 8 consecutive Conservative deficits.
He has the worst economic record of any Prime Minister since World War II
He led the first government in Canadian or even Commonwealth history to be found in contempt of Parliament
His party was caught cheating in the last three elections
He prorogued Parliament four times, shutting it down for a total of 181 days
He suppressed voters via the “Fair Elections Act” while restricting the power of Elections Canada
He made Canada an embarassment in the international scientific community by muzzling its own scientists
He appointed Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallin … well, you know, the WHOLE Senate thing
Etc., etc., etc., …

Nice Hair Though.

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