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“…we keep the highest standard for candidates…”

Uhhh, riiiiight.

One of your candidates urinates in a customer’s coffee cup on national TV. One makes YouTube videos crank-calling women and posing as a disabled person.

And if they had been elected, they would have been called “Honourable” Members.

(Of course, Chris Alexander and Peter Kent, of recent news, can already use that title.)

stephen harper clown

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The Unbearable Importance of the Last Line

So, let’s just say that a lot of people voiced skepticism this week when Chris Woodcock, Steve’s former director of “issues management,” (propaganda minister, or ‘fixer’ might be more familiar terms) insisted that he could look at a FIVE LINE email about an issue pivotal to the party and his Prime Minister, and somehow not get all the way down to the fifth line. (see below)

wright
Was it truly a case of prophylactic amnesia, or just the general incompetence displayed by pretty much everyone appointed by the PM.? (Which, of course, raises its own questions about the competence of the P.M. who made the appointments)

As some might point out, a 3-year old with a bursting bladder has a longer attention span than the one professed by IssuesManagementMan, but to give him his due, Woodcock was able to deliver and defend this declaration with a straight face even as it was met with laughter in the courtroom, and there IS precedent. In fact, on more than one occasion, history has been written by figures who clearly had all the focus of a dog on a squirrel farm.

And to illustrate this point, here are just a few… (click on the image if you need to enlarge to legible size)

stephen harper letters
So stick to your guns Chrissyboy, because as everyone knows

The Hirsute of Happiness…

Well, as we all know, the entire Conservative Party seems to be OBSESSED with Justin Trudeau’s hair. It seems to be the central theme of their attack ads, and let’s face it, it points to an undeniable envy on the part of Steve and his team.

The Conservatives seem to feel that somehow, Steve’s own hair is … ‘inadequate’… even though it must be conceded that it has long been a phenomenon in its own right – an appropriately Conservative entity of shock and awe, and as Margaret Atwood correctly points out, one that has its own keeper (and one which has had others wondering if it could be weaponized).

But for whatever reason, Justin’s hair appears to be the only area where the Conservatives think the Liberals have an advantage – but fear not Blue Team, wheels are in motion to take away that advantage and place it squarely on the sultan’s scalp.

Whispered rumours abound on the campaign trail that operatives have been trailing the Liberal Leader – bribing hotel maids for comb samples, dredging shower drains, dumpster diving behind Trudeau’s barber’s shop. All in an attempt to gather enough raw material for the creation of the Conservative’s secret weapon, so that this…

Stephen Harper by Remy Steinegger

Stephen Harper by Remy Steinegger

can become … THIS!!

stephen harper hair

And then the people will say of Stephen Harper…

He turned 9 consecutive Liberal Budget surpluses into debt – inheriting a $13.8 billion surplus and turning it into a $5.8 billion deficit within two years, starting a run of 8 consecutive Conservative deficits.
He has the worst economic record of any Prime Minister since World War II
He led the first government in Canadian or even Commonwealth history to be found in contempt of Parliament
His party was caught cheating in the last three elections
He prorogued Parliament four times, shutting it down for a total of 181 days
He suppressed voters via the “Fair Elections Act” while restricting the power of Elections Canada
He made Canada an embarassment in the international scientific community by muzzling its own scientists
He appointed Mike Duffy, Pamela Wallin … well, you know, the WHOLE Senate thing
Etc., etc., etc., …

Nice Hair Though.

A Prime Minister’s Heartbreak

Stephen Harper Humour

(With a nod to Andrew Coyne.)

Uhmmmm….

How times have changed. Opposition Leader Stevie about Paul Martin not knowing about what members of his party were doing.

and

Good to know the current Prime Minister is someone believes a leader is answerable for what goes on in his party, and that simple direct questions deserve simple direct answers.

Oh, wait…

(Click on YouTube icons to see entire interview.)

“Participants at Conservative events must agree to gag order”…

…for details, read this article from iPolitics.

So…

 

sheep

Sheep Image: “A Cotswold ewe” by Linda Kenney (https://www.flickr.com/people/7902980@N02) via Wikimedia Commons, under under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license.

 

Cowardly Lion Launches Longest Election Campaign since 1872

undecidedparty stephen harper lion

An election which will cost the taxpayers an extra 100 million dollars (despite Harper launching his campaign with “…it’s important that these campaigns be funded by the parties themselves rather than taxpayers.”), but more importantly -to Steve- will allow the Conservatives to spend more from their larger bank account and try to drown out the opposition with money. No reason to put yourself in a fair fight, right?

(One of his reasons for promoting fixed election dates a few years back (before he ignored it in 2011)?, was to “…stop leaders from trying to manipulate the calendar simply for partisan political advantage.” But hey, memories are only as long as convenient when you’re a politician.)

78 days so Canadians can have “…the time to consider the alternatives before them, because this is an election about leadership on the big issues that affect us all.” And while Canadians consider, our strong, decisive leader will be running from most debates, only taking 5 questions per appearance with no follow-ups so he can ignore whatever questions he doesn’t like while shills shout down reporters who dare ask impertinent questions, and trying to frighten voters into supporting his party with the threat of “real consequences” (cue the “…violent global jihadist movement…” stage right) if he doesn’t get to keep his job.

Have you ever seen the 1997 film “Wag The Dog” – where the incumbent uses the spectre of a foreign threat to ensure his re-election? A hilarious classic and a lesson in politics that should be part of every journalist’s education. And where Harper is saying, “It is time to stay the course and stick to our plan,” Wag The Dog’s hopeful had…

 

As for his statement that “…everybody should operate under the law and the rules for campaigns,” we can only say, Seriously?!

“The Treasure of the Senate Expense Account,” starring…

duffy senate badges

More of the ‘Fine Art’ of Politics…

“Due process is not possible in this chamber, where it seems a majority wants to put my head on a platter.” Pamela Wallin.

undecidedparty stephen harper pamela wallin

(Another highly debatable masterpiece by the highly debatable artist, Agar Dunwiddie.)

So After Ducking the Scandals All Summer…

undecidedparty stephen harper lion

…and delaying the return of Parliament for an extra month to ‘prepare’ for a Throne Speech that essentially said nothing, what is Glorious Leader’s strategy for finally facing a determined opposition’s probing interrogation during the first Question Period?

(Unless, of course the entire EU trade agreement would have collapsed if he had suggested that this purely symbolic announcement of a deal that won’t be ratified for years -if ever- might be pushed back by a day or so. Sure, that must be it. DAMN those Europeans for insisting that it be the 18th or not at all!!)